So, I’ve been going to a writers’ meeting recently, once a week. Most of them are into various types of interesting (and I say this in all affection) woo. So, I’ve gotten the reputation of being the group’s “Scully” to their “Mulder”. It is in that spirit of lighthearted conjecture that I present the following theory.
The classic alien abduction story generally includes the following elements.
1) I was in my bed.
2) I saw a bright light.
3) I was lifted off my bed.
4) I was brought to a spaceship/the aliens placed me on a table.
5) They probed my anus.
6) They returned me back again.
7) They do this periodically to me.
These stories were shared pretty heavily in the 80’s, inspiring books and made-for-TV movies. However, it wasn’t until I became a new mother, that I realized who the aliens where and why they were so interested in our anuses.
1) I go to check my baby’s diaper while he is sleeping.
2) I turn on the light.
3) I lift him out of bed.
4) I put him on the changing table.
5) I change his diaper and wipe his ass.
6) I return him back to bed.
7) I do this periodically.
This has been a joke of mine for a long time, however, I’m kidding on the square. It would be an interesting thing to investigate, I think, if very young memories might manifest in adulthood as bizarrely contextualized fairy tales.