So an attention craving angry brother (E.K.) decided to do a “social experiment” recently where he posted two pictures on his FB to see what type of reaction it would bring.  He was trying to make a “pint” (Sorry, that was a spelling error that he made and it was sort of hilarious.) but he illuminated something I don’t think he was quite expecting to.

Here are the two pictures with captions:

“WHAT! This is sexist and and belittles the anguish that men go through every day at the hands of women!”

womanabuser

“Whaaat, me worry?”

womanvictim

So – these are shitty pictures with a shitty joke attached.  Both of them.  However, lets play “One of these things is not like the other”.

The picture where men are the target of violence:

The word “all” is not included.

There is an exclamation point.

The woman is in a neutral location.

The woman is pointing.

The victim is not shown.

The caption is a sarcastic phrase meant to appear over-the-top.

The picture where a woman is the target of violence:

The word “all” is included.

There is not an exclamation point.

The man appears to be in a home and therefor the victim is likely assumed to be his spouse.

The man has his hand in a fist.

The victim is shown and the following is observed or likely assumed: she is in a submissive position, she is wearing clothes you would wear at home around someone with whom you are intimate, she is the only one shown to have injuries, she is not as physically imposing as her attacker, she is backed into a corner without a chance of escaping the situation.

The caption alludes to the poster (who is obviously male) getting away with something without having to fear the repercussions.

***

Now, think about what type of mental knot-work would be needed to see these two pictures as EQUIVALENT….not just both problematic, not just both as wrong….but EQUAL.

This is a useful illustration of the profoundly distorted view of reality that some categorical anti-feminists are burdened with.

So, thank you, angry brother!  Thank you for being so blatant and raw and unthinking that you have let slip the depth of your delusional level of false equivalency.  You also got attention and cred for being uber-anti-PC.

We both got something out of this – fantastic!

But this isn’t a joke – not even a really offensive one.

What frustrates me the most is that this doesn’t have to happen.  We KNOW that male victims of rape and abuse do not have the types of social supports that they deserve as human beings.  We KNOW that individual men are often assumed to be the dangerous ones and the aggressors, even in light of evidence to the contrary.  We KNOW that men tend to be punished more by the legal system for the same crimes than women.  We KNOW that violence against men is many times not taken as seriously as violence against women.

Those are shitty things.  Feminists can agree those things are unfair and those issues are worthy of action.  I can get behind measures, actions or groups that would attempt to address these issues.

Angry brothers and sisters,

Why do we have to do this?  What would motivate anyone to contrive weird manipulations in order to manufacture evidence and insist so strongly that other people don’t give two shits?

For frick’s sake.

I care about you as a fellow human being. You don’t deserve to be hurt or abused.  You deserve support and protection.  I honor your perspective and your life experience as valid – your hurt, your frustration, your personal choices – everything.  They are not a joke.

I’m not your enemy.

So please – Just stop already.  Pointing out false equivalencies is not devaluing you or trying to one-up the victim-capital.  Pointing out when things you say are f-ed up is not belittling or dismissing you as a fellow human.  Caring about women and the issues women face is not the same as attacking you or not giving a shit about your life and your experiences or men in general.

If I get angry at you – it doesn’t mean I hate you.

That is NOT how that frickin’ works.

If someone identifies as “feminist” or is a woman who has hurt you or disagrees with you – it doesn’t mean that I hurt you or that I disagree with you.

That is NOT how that frickin’ works.

Unfortunately, judging from how this particular person conducted himself and how he presents himself, I highly doubt he would be willing to express giving two shits about me or anyone like me.

E.R.: “Unlike you, I take violence against women seriously.”

E.K.: “That is because you are a politically correct prick.  I could give two shots less what you think.”

Oh well.

Bright side is – I’m starting to think that his alcohol-puns are intentional – much funnier than his “social experiment”.

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