I have become aware of both a pamphlet claiming that I supported the Koran and a facebook message stating, “One of my beliefs is that the scientific evidence supports The bible.”  Due to these public statements, I, science, feel compelled to anthropomorphically speak on my own behalf concerning these claims.

I take no position on the relative validity of holy texts.

I respectfully ask you to stop using “science” in your discussions concerning your conflict as it implies that I have taken a position that I have not.

It would also be kind, if you would, to stop calling religious ideas “scientific” ones; as it’s a gross misattribution.

…and you know how scientists are about attribution.