“I wouldn’t be here if my mother had an abortion!”
Well, you also wouldn’t be here if the sex happened on a different day, your biological father and her didn’t have sex at all, your biological mother became a nun, your biological mother decided not to have children, your biological father had a vasectomy, your biological mother became pregnant with your non-existent slightly older sibling, or someone went back in time and shot Hitler and changed all of human history since creating an alternate timeline in which your great grandparents never met.
I wasn’t planning on writing about this subject in the series “Emotional ammo”, however a friend linked a very thoughtful and quite beautiful article about the subject, that describes the emotional appeal of the anti-abortion argument well and gives a great example of the flip side of it.
I was also the product of an unplanned pregnancy. However, my mother had me late-in-life seven years after she figured she was done. I have three older siblings. It doesn’t bother me at all to simply say that it would have been a reasonable decision for my mother to end the pregnancy that eventually resulted in me.
However, pretending as if I know that her life would have been better or worse isn’t useful. Who knows? We all want to think that our existence is a net-positive. Hopefully we find joy in life and others find joy and support in us. That’s great. However, that’s not the same as saying that our biological mothers should have been forced to have us.
I think that the best way to combat the emotional ammo of “I’m glad I exist! Don’t you?!” isn’t to point out the people who would not exist if their biological mothers had made a more reasonable decision considering the circumstances, but to point out the people who do exist due to the decisions most people would not make.
Just bring out the last 17 Duggars and say, “Hey, if Jim Bob had gotten “the cut” after their parents’ first two living children, they would not exist and they seem like nice people = every mother should have 19 kids.”